Thus Spoke Zarathustra

requim for a phone

2006-02-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

thy noble steed, thou hast been slain
my padre, my companion , my phone
trustworthy thou were, long battery-life thou had
alas, it was not meant to be ,thy reception fell
nevertheless thou fought, resisted, and kept fighting
against unpaid bills and mockery of thou antiqueness
against newer models that spit on thou feet
oooh the anguish engulfs me so
now you lay on thy table, screen cracked
thou lcd oozes out like blood from a fallen warrior
i shall remember dear phone and never forget
May thy find peace in the halls of Valhalla*

amen

*the finnish version of course

cathode-ray tube appreciation time

2006-01-14T00:09:00.000-08:00

you know with the abundance of free time,as if there were some buit-in chromosome , my brain instinctivly commands me to get a couch and watch the telly.

it's no surprise that 60% of what runs on tv is crap, the rest 20 % adverts, 10% terrible adverts and leaving the last 10 % to something very rare to mankind : good tv

so and now its golden globe season, the prelude to oscar, where tv meets hollywood ..yadda yadda yadda.
i am no pundit but i can make a few predictions
like the golden globe for the 'Show with the best looking cast of middle aged women' would go to Desperate Housewives, no surprises there

and the golden globe for the 'movie with most sappiest soundtrack' would go to brokeback mountain.

it should also win the 'the movie most likely to bring back John Wayne from the dead and kill him again'award

anyway in all seriousness i think hugh laurie should deserve the best actor for House, i personally enjoyed the show, witty, spiteful and entertaining, Axn just ended the first season by the way.
I was also not surprised that CSI wasnt nominated for anything, as i believe it suffers from the "Spinoff Syndrome" .
you know when you start making stuff like CSI:Miami ,CSI:NY and CSI:My Bathroom ,it kinda of kills the show's interest. They should have learnt the lessons from other shows like Law and Order ,it started to suck once they went into spinoffs like L&O Criminal Intent, L&O:SVU and similarly Baywatch with its Hawaii spinoff ( not that the original baywatch was good anyway )
The point being i think CSI is in its last throes,so enjoy it before its cast members start leaving and the show ends up really shitty.

In a final note i think special mention would need to go to the show Men vs Beast for the "Most ingenious use of midgets in a animal-human show " and subsequently awarded the Gary-Coleman Special Award.

kudos network execs, you have done it again

deus ex pestchina

2006-01-12T00:13:00.000-08:00

we humans might be the top of the food chain but that certainly doesnt qualify us as trully intelligent.Sure mankind has done many mistakes in its history like the two world wars, the cold war, the holocaust, boyband worship , the iraq war and DDR machines.So one may argue that it is in our very nature to make mistakes , and so it is inevitable.But sadly the fact is ,we still keep making mistakes.

And so i believe Fuck-up No #217298236298331 in the History Of Mankind should be awarded to the University Of Tokyo.

No , they didnt find the cure for cancer , Aids or stupidity or something like that. They just made a post-apocalyptic nightmare vision of Earth a close reality.Now before you jump into any conclusions that our fellow friends in the land of the rising sun have come up with some superweapon ,virus or some really kinky porn ( more kinkier than the usual Japanese tentacle rape fare), hold your breath.

Its something worse...

something that will doom humanity forever....

now if you all remember your sec school physics that the only living thing that can survive a potential nuclear fallout is the cockroach right ?
and that cockroaches are the sworn enemies of humankind right ?
well the japs just made them "Faster ,Stronger and Smarter"
* to be read in Arnie's voice.

they actually came up with the robo-roach, they actually made cyborg roaches....
And yeah.. it gets better, the Jap government awarded them 5 million bucks for more research.. like just what the world needs, more roaches

So humankind, meet your new overlords !!!!... ROBOROACH-SAN

this reminds me

2006-01-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

This guy comes into a bar...
...walks to the bartender and says...
..." Bartender, I got a bet for you.
I'll bet you $100 that I can piss...
...into that glass over there...
...and not spill a drop."
The bartender looks at the glass.
It's 10 feet away.
He says...
..."You're telling me
you'll bet me $100 ...
...that you can piss,
standing here...
...into that glass,
and not spill a single drop?"
Customer looks up and says:
"That's right."
Bartender says, "You've got a bet."
The guy goes, "Okay, here we go."
Pulls out his thing.
He's thinking about the glass.
He's thinking about the glass.
Thinking about his dick.
Dick, glass, dick, glass,
dick, glass, dick, glass.
Then he lets it rip.
He pisses all over the place.
He pisses on the bar.
He pisses on the stools,
on the floor, the phone.
On the bartender!
He's pissing everywhere
except the fucking glass!
Bartender's laughing.
He's $ 100 richer. He's like....
Piss dripping off his face.
He says, "You fucking idiot, man!
You got it in everything
except the glass!
You owe me $100 puta."
Guy goes, " Excuse me
just one little second."
Goes in the back of the bar.
There's a couple of guys
playing pool.
He walks over to them.
Comes back to the bar.
Goes, " Here you go. $ ."
The bartender's like....
"Why are you so happy?
You just lost$ 100 idiot!"
The guy says,
"See those guys there?
I just bet them $ 200 apiece...
...that I could piss on your bar...
...your floor, your phone,
and piss on you...
...and not only would you not
be mad about it...
...you'd be happy."
That's funny shit, huh?

one complete revolution..

2006-01-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

So its 2006,
the planet has a pretty good run. so far so good.
That being provided all the cfc aerosol released yesterday night does not initiate dramatic climate change ushering in the second ice age, consequently exterminating all life on this planet.

or

on the other hand, its a new year,
new hopes,new aspirations,new situations.
but i have to admit, it's been a good run so far,great friends, family fine,all limbs intact,finances decent so honestly no major complaints for me.
and i do really feel grateful for that.

but new things lie ahead with a tinge of uncertainty.the current status-quo can be severly disrupted.
nevertheless it will come . its eventual ,and only a matter of time.
so if there is any single resolution or mantra for 06 it will be

adaptation

classic darwinism, as your environment changes,you follow suit.
so good luck in evolution people, see you in the next phase cause extinction seriously sucks....

a particular quagmire

2005-12-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

time of the year

2005-12-24T00:41:00.000-08:00

to everyone who celebrates xmas,

arrrgh mi hardy's ,go forth, be merry and jolly .

blogus operandi

2005-12-23T05:40:00.000-08:00

i am quite new to this whole blogging thingy,its all so spiffy and shiny.
i still havent gotten the hang of it...
and so i make a mental checklist

ubercool template- check
tagboard-check
working links-check
spellcheck on - check

i cant help but feel something is missing here... and so i x-refered to other blogs in seek of answers and finally found the missing link

i need a poem and pronto..

however, one thing stood between me and literary valhalla, the divinity of pentameters and the shangri-la of rhyme and form

my severe lack of the ability to construct creative poetry

but naaah.. it was'nt gonna stop me , and i did it anyway

Optimus Prime , the day you died
i fell down i screamed i cried
For your return i prayed to the lord
But no, he sent fucking HOT-ROD

i feel so freakin sad right now, i wanna slit my wrists with a plastic knife
ooh the humanity !!!

Cheque and Balances.

2005-12-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan:

What he said :

â€œOn Government's part, we accept KPMG's sharp comments on the regulators. There were many agencies involved, each with its specific roles and responsibilities. This created a lack of clarity in the regulatory structure, which became vulnerable to exploitationâ€?

What it really means.

â€œThey fucked up, because we were kind of fucked up ourselves. Then everyone started fucking up. This then made everything fuckable. Oh Fuck.â€?

This brings on to the broader issue of accountability and balances .Every year, it is customary for companies (private or NGOâ€™s alike) to make an audit. And to do that you will need get an auditor, usually an accounting firm. By right the annual internal audit will act as the check and regulate any malpractices such as misappropriation of company funds , inflated profits and maybe porn surfing in the office.

There you go, the perfect system. Check and balance.

Or notâ€¦

Now things get messy when the check, needs to be checked.

It may seem now that the current KPMG audit has revealed that previous auditors of the NKF found no discrepancies and gave it a clean slate. As I was reading the papers one name caught my eye.

Arthur Anderson

Howâ€¦ whatâ€™s the word I am looking forâ€¦mmmmm â€¦ ooh yesâ€¦..

Ironic.

As you see Arthur Anderson isnâ€™t really an ideal representation of the right side of the moral compass. After all it was in charge of auditing Enron and being part of the biggest corporate scandal in history. In fact I think its been indicted for criminal charges and it lost its CPA license, in short, It got busted

And now we have KPMG to the rescueâ€¦ hoorah, the shining light of purity to cleanse the heathen corporation of its devilish evil, pray thee infidels, for thy shall feel the paper cut of justice

And so you thought

KPMG in fact was under investigation in the US for allegedly allowing Xerox to post erroneous profit data. And they resigned as auditors when they overlooked a 1.8 billion profit inflation which resulted in their clients being indicted for fraud.

So ladies and gentleman, the current state of affairs have thought us one thingâ€¦ we are caught in a vicious cycle. Its morons making sure morons donâ€™t fuck up.Not a really good way of running things if you ask me

Like a catch-22?

Or a threesome with cheerleaders?

Maybe the best representation would be a gay 69â€¦

Spit ? Swallow ? ooh the suspense is killing me.

numero uno

2005-12-21T04:31:00.000-08:00

i really never had a penchant for coherent writing .In reality i have terrible penmanship or keyboard-ship as it might seem now.
But its not going stop me from doing this.
I might be boring, like how this post is turning out., Or maybe not, ...yet that is.

"May you live in interesting times" -ancient Chinese curse.

True enough, we are living in interesting times.
Interesting that the north-south divide grows.
Interesting that the world's sole superpower has a foreign policy drafted by a room full of chimpanzees with typewriters.
Interesting that the global climate has become terminally insane
Interesting that there are starbucks opposite starbucks

and the list goes on indefinitely....
we live in an interesting world, and i will give my 2 cents worth on it
i lack credibility but Iâ€™ll make it up... with the truth.

cheerio